


Just Smile, I Need To See You Smile.

by Givemegore



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempted Suicide, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Doki doki literature club - Freeform, Gay, M/M, Sad, admitting love, depressed Cas, loved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-10
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-03-03 05:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13334892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Givemegore/pseuds/Givemegore
Summary: Dean hasn't heard from Cas in a few days and decides to head over after he gets off work. Once he gets there, he discovers a huge shock that changes his world. One bad event may lead to a lifetime of happines.





	Just Smile, I Need To See You Smile.

**Author's Note:**

> This is loosely based on Doki Doki Literature club. There is a suicide attempt so please, please, please go into this carefully. I love you all, don't ever forget. Thank you.

Dean hadn’t heard from Castiel in quite some time so he decided he would go see him after work. Dean and Castiel had been friends for forever, really. Their parents settled down in the same place and decided to buy neighboring houses. John Winchester and Chuck Shurley were friends in high school and wanted their children to meet and forge a friendship. Now the boys were older and had gone through life together. From elementary to high school, their first crushes, their first jobs, and everything in between, they knew everything about each other. Dean finished working on his car before clocking out to head over to his buddy’s house. He liked walking to work and back, cleared his mind and made him so happy to be alive. Bobby had offered him a ride many times but Dean usually declined, unless it was raining of course. But today it was beautiful, bright sun, warm air, some white fluffy clouds against the blue sky, he loved it. He climbed the stairs to reach Cas’s apartment, B205. When Dean knocked on the door, there was no response, which slightly worried him, Cas always let him in and yelled if he heard the knock. The place was small, he couldn’t have NOT heard him. “Hey Cas, it’s Dean, open up,” he again was greeted only by a grim silence. He reached to grab the spare key under one of Cas’s small plant pots and fumbled to find it quick enough. He unlocked the door and rushed in before running into Castiel’s room to see his best friend hanging by thick rope from the ceiling. “CASTIEL!” Dean screamed before cutting his friends limp body down hastily. He laid Castiel down gently on the bed. “OH MY GOD!” Dean was yelling, but he didn’t’ care, tears were streaming down his face. Castiel drew in a lungs fill of air suddenly, eyes opening wide. “YES!” Dean screamed before holding Cas’s face in his hands, “OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY?!” he said, voice full of fear. Cas looked around, still in a daze, not sure what was going on. Dean kept holding Cas until he touched Dean’s hand. Dean grabbed his friends hand tightly, never wanting to let go. “Buddy, you okay?” Dean said through tears. Castiel nodded slightly, everything was still a blur, he wasn’t quite back to normal yet. “What the Hell Cas?” Dean said between tears, “What did you do?” Castiel looked up at Dean before slowly reaching up and touching his face.

“It’s okay… I-I’m okay,” Cas said with a soft smile. Dean brushed his fingers across the rope marks around his friend’s neck. What would cause his best friend to try to end his life?

“What happened? Why did you do this Cas?” Dean asked, crying still. Castiel sighed before finally breaking down into tears,

“They wouldn’t stop,” Castiel said slowly. “They kept on and on, telling me I should do it. They told me to stop taking the pills.” Dean covered his mouth to hide his sobs, hearing this broke his heart. “They told me to stop talking to you, that you would never feel the same way. No one would ever love me,” Castiel said through tears. Dean looked at him, slightly confused,

“Wh-what do you mean?” Dean said, trying to talk softly as to not break down again. Castiel let out a soft chuckle before looking into Dean’s eyes,

“Hasn’t it been obvious? I was always the one to be single while you had girlfriend. I never liked listening to you talk about your nights with them because… Well… I always wished it was me. I’m gay Dean and I’ve been in love with you for years.” He closed his eyes and sighed. Dean blinked in disbelief. How could he have never noticed? “And all he people on my blog told me you would never love me. That I was just some fag who was too much of a pussy to tell you my true feelings. That I should off myself.” The slurs sounded like razor blades on the tip of his tongue. “That’s why I haven’t talked to you in awhile, I hoped you wouldn’t care or notice but you did,” his eyes welled up with tears. Dean just sat there, speechless before slowly standing up and walking around a bit. Castiel covered his eyes and began to cry. He knew Dean didn’t like him, he knew Dean was straight, “I’m sorry, I know you don’t feel the same way I just-“ He was cut off by Dean planting a kiss on his lips. What the Hell was going on? Dean was kissing Castiel, was this for real? Was this pity? Right now Cas wasn’t too concerned, he was in Heaven, truly. Slowly, Dean crawled on top of Cas, straddling his lap. The kissing got stronger and stronger, hands began to wander. When their breathing grew heavy, Cas began to have a coughing fit. Dean pulled back quickly,

“Are you okay?” He said, his voice full of concern. Cas nodded after the coughing calmed,

‘I’m fine, still sore from the rope,” he closed his eyes for a few seconds before swallowing. “Can you… can you just smile, I really need to see you smile right now?” Dean looked at the small boy beneath him, the black and blue rope marks, the red face, everything. He though he couldn’t smile, but then good memories flooded his mind. Their shared life, all the unintentional intimate moments, their first kiss just now, the way Cas chuckled awkwardly when Dean made sexual jokes. And before he knew it, he was smiling to himself. When he opened his eyes, he saw Cas smiling as well. Dean reached down and placed a hand on Castiel’s cheek,

“Ya know Cas, all these years, I’ve been curious, never acted on it though. I wanted to but I never found the right guy. If I knew you wanted the same thing, I would have made a move long ago.” Dean smiled softly at Castiel who smiled back. Then tears began to well up again,

“I’m so sorry Dean, I was so lost. I’m sorry I listened to them. I’m sorry I scared you,” he grabbed Dean’s hand, “that was never my intention. I never wanted to hurt you.” He laced their fingers together. “They told me I was alone so often. That no one loved me. And then I began to believe them,” Dean shook his head,

“No baby," he placed both hands on Cas’s face and turned it to look him in the eyes. “I love you, always have,” the Winchester said definitively. Cas smiled before sitting up and hugging Dean. And Dean held Cas, just rubbing his back, for what felt like hours. After they were calm and Cas felt a little stronger, the boys got up and decided on dinner. Dean made Cas get a movie and go back to bed. After a few minutes, Dean brought in dinner on a tray to his favorite person. The men cuddled up together and watched their movie, eventually drifting off to sleep together. Dean was never going to let Cas feel unwanted or unloved ever again.


End file.
